love-hate relationship

I mentioned the cockroach incident in my last post like it was no big deal, when in fact I hate dealing with the bugs. It’s the kind of thing that makes me long for Canada.

I have a love hate relationship with Thailand I think. It’s often the very things that I love about Thailand that drive me nuts sometimes. Some of my married friends have told me that this has happened at times with their spouse – the very things that attracted them to their spouse, were often the very things that irritated them later on. I don’t know if that’s true or not for marriage but I’ve certainly been finding it true about being here.

While in Chiang Mai a few weeks ago, my friends’ son asked me out of the blue what my favourite thing about Thailand was. I thought for a while… “come on”, I said in my head, “what can I say?” I ended up saying, “visiting people in villages.” I asked him the same question and after a lot of hmmming and commenting on how that was a hard question, he replied with “xbox.”

Why did I have such a hard time coming up with my favourite thing about Thailand? I blame it on this love-hate relationship. I love the food but there certainly are times when I hate the food (or how it affects me!). I love the people but sometimes it’s the cause of so much strain and stress. I love living in a village but sometimes I miss living in Canada. I love learning to communicate in other people’s heart languages but on days when I people can’t understand me or I can’t understand them, I hate the language barrier and I just wish that we can all communicate in English. I love eating rice but sometimes it’s the last thing I want to eat. I love how our neighbours pop in to say hi but there are times when I can’t stand people coming by all the time or coming by so early in the morning. I love how my village is so peaceful at night but I hate how the roosters crow through the night and how my neighbours wake up insanely early (4:15am). I love my house but I hate that water and electricity is unreliable.

When I’ve asked those married friends how they deal with those little things that their spouse does that drives them nuts, they tell me how they’re committed to their marriage covenent.

And so in this love-hate relationship, I have to remember why I’m here. And I have to remember how I got here. And I have to remember my committment to follow Him however and wherever He leads me. Will a single cockroach send me back to Canada? No. But it will probably still creep me out.

4 thoughts on “love-hate relationship

  1. Hey Beth! Wow, I’m so amazed and glad to see that you’re rising to all these challenges of living in a village, bugs’n’all! thank you for your vivid descriptions…and just make sure you don’t cook any cats in your oven.
    i’m prayin for you! love Rosie in Scotland


  2. Thanks for this post, Beth. I so appreciate your honesty and I think you’ve articulated things so well – this is such an important lesson to learn, and like many others (like patience and trusting God fully, to name a few) you will probably continue to be reminded of it and need to learn it over and over again… PTL for enabling you to make so many adjustments thus far and to stay positive and find so many things about your new home to love! 🙂 Even back in Canada I find myself having a love/hate relationship with some aspects of life here; I think no matter where God has placed us we will always find this to be true. And I’m sure in time even smooshing cockroaches underfoot won’t seem like such a big deal! Hang in there – you have many brothers and sisters upholding you in prayer, myself included. 🙂


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