peace in chaos

I have a friend who likes to make his life slightly chaotic. If his life isn’t chaotic enough already, he adds things in just to stir things up a bit. He said that he likes his life to be like this because he knows he can’t handle it all on his own. He calls on God and knows that he’ll only be able to deal with everything because of the Lord enabling him and helping him in each situation.

While I don’t particularly feel the need to add chaos to my life, I appreciate this friend’s desire to fully rely on the Lord and to see God move.

Generally I feel like my life is chaotic enough – I don’t need to make it any worse. Every year it changes and every year it seems like more is on my plate. I guess that makes sense right? What I am able to handle this year is different from what I was able to deal with last year. God knows my limits. And wants to stretch me and grow me by often pushing those limits. He wants me to rely on Him and totally surrender my life to Him. To trust Him to the nth degree. He knows I can’t do it on my own and He wants me to rely on His strength. It’s only looking back at these difficult and chaotic times in my life am I able to see how the Lord enabled me and gave me what I needed to get through. In the midst of those times I don’t know how I’m going to get through sometimes. But I do. I have every time. Only because of Him.

Right now I am feeling overwhelmed with what is before me right now. Part of me wants to run around screaming and shouting, saying, “It’s too much! I can’t do this!!!” And another part of me is saying, with complete confidence and peace, “It’ll be okay. I can’t do this on my own but I’m not alone – He’s with me. And He’s completely trustworthy.”

Some passages from the Bible that I’ve been taking time to meditate on lately are Matthew 11:28-30 and Psalm 23.

“Come to me,
all who labor
and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you,
and learn from me,
for I am gentle
and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV))

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

“Even though I walk through the valley of deep darkness,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

“You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness
and mercy
shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
(Psalm 23 (ESV))

Until recently, I’d always distanced myself from this Psalm. I perhaps associated it with painful memories of loved ones dying or the funerals following their deaths and so I think I couldn’t read this Psalm and not think of that. But I’m thankful for now being able to look at it with new eyes and find encouragement from its words.

I’m thankful that the Lord is my Shepherd and that He anticipates my needs. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He does indeed restore my soul. Even though there may be chaos all around.

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